It really always blows my mind.
Happy November, y’all! Every changing of the calendar month, I feel like a broken record- and really truly feel in complete shock that somehow another month has passed. Every.Damn.Month.
It’s not just the passing of time, but also the way time feels oh-so strange since Covid started. Everything is slow, or fast, or both. What’s a weekday vs a weekend when you work from home? With kids out of school, or schooling from home- how does the school year vs school vacation feel? Everything is blurry, and different- and we are all adjusting. And once we have adjusted, things change again.
Sometimes with trauma and traumatic things (and I say ‘sometimes’, because everyone is different and responds differently- so if this isn’t true for you, don’t worry about it), but sometimes it’s like time doesn’t exist at all.
Hear me out. I am a generally anxious person, and time is very much always in my awareness. The passing of it or the lack of it, etc. This isn’t true for everyone, but is definitely true for me.
But after a sudden trauma or change that anxiety and connection to time can disappear. Completely.
There is no time. There is survival, getting one foot in front of the other, trying to stay on top of all those things you think you should or think you need to do. Trudging & stuck. Some feel like time is moving slowly during this period, while it can also be felt as speeding up and passing “in the blink of an eye”. All I know is that it’s different for everyone, very weird, and feels really fucked up. (that’s my very scientific understanding, at least).
Is there anything you can do to help?
Certainly. There are lots of things that can help (I’ll list some ideas below), but I also want you to just know that there’s another side. That you wont be in that trudging/stuck place that time disappeared from forever.
So now it’s November. Time keeps moving and the seasons are changing. Even if we get stuck and move in slow motion for a bit, time just keeps on keeping on. There are some pros to this, but also some cons. I’d recommend thinking about your own relationship with time and how you feel when the calendar changes to a new month. If it makes you feel energized, use that energy in a positive way. If it stresses you out, have some compassion for yourself.
If you are trudging and feeling stuck, know that you made it another day closer to the other side.
TIME GETTING YOU DOWN or FREAKING YOU OUT?
TRY THIS:
~ Mindful Anything- could be breathing, eating, movement (walking, yoga, stretching). You don’t even have to do it for long, but to just take that moment to get out of your head and into the PRESENT MOMENT. Who cares what day it is, what month, what is time anyway. Just breathe (or insert your own mindful thing), and spend a couple moments just doing that and nothing else.
~ Write a letter to your future self- you pick the duration… could be a quick note to your next week self or even your tomorrow self. Or could be a proper letter for a year from now, or 6 months out. Share with your future self how you are feeling in this moment, and recognize that your future self will, inherently, feel differently. What do you want your future self to remember about today’s you. How strong she is? How crappy he’s feeling? Let them know.
~ Do something new- I mentioned this on last week’s blog/email (around dealing with rainy day blues), but I think it works here too. And for this one, I would set a timer (see TIME, we can have some control over you too! [insert evil laugh]). For 10 minutes (or however long works for you & your day) do said “new thing”. It will help get you out of your head and in the moment.
~Puzzles- I fucking love puzzles. I don’t think I could count the number of hours I spent working on puzzles after my fire. So many. It brings you into the moment in a safe and consistent way, getting you out of your head- and giving you something tangible to make progress on. Real, literal progress you can see. Even on good days, it can feel so completely fulfilling to match that perfect piece in the perfect spot.